


Alley Cat

by eccentricities_of_kitties



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 23:03:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11931186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccentricities_of_kitties/pseuds/eccentricities_of_kitties
Summary: Dirk's being secretive and Todd wants to talk things out.





	Alley Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Set after season 1, but as if Dirk and the others weren't captured, as if they just went about their lives afterwards.

“I’m right here, Dirk, you idiot.”

 

Dirk had been out all night again, chasing information on the mysterious visit he’d had from Blackwing. Todd hadn’t pushed for the details on exactly where he was going and what he was doing, but he was still bothered by the effect it was having on his boyfriend. Late nights, persistent dark circles under his eyes, even returning to their flat with mysterious injuries and bloodied clothes. 

 

This night, Dirk had slunk in like an alley cat returning for milk, unaware that Todd was waiting at the table already awake. He’d usually wait in bed, and pretend to be asleep so Dirk wouldn’t feel so bad about whatever he was hiding. But tonight, Todd was fed up. He’d allowed this to continue, for weeks, without question, unerringly supporting Dirk through whatever he was up to. It was starting to be too much to handle. Constantly talking around this problem. Always pretending like he couldn’t see the effect it was having on him. 

 

It wasn’t like the lack of sex bothered him. Or Dirk’s unusual snappiness in place of the bubbling cheeriness that was the staple of his personality. Or how making sure the bills got paid and the lights stayed on fell to Todd to take care of. But Dirk pretended like nothing was happening - came home, changed, and slapped on a smile. Not tonight.

 

“Can we talk?” Todd asked, trying to catch Dirk’s gaze, which was fixed glassily on the floor.

 

“About what?” Dirk asked, finally turning to face Todd. “Don’t overreact.”

 

“Holy shit…” Todd breathed, forgetting his anger. “What the hell happened? Do you need a hospital?”

 

“I knew you’d overreact. It’s really not as bad as it looks. Shower, cup of tea, I’ll be right as rain.”

 

A black eye was complimented by a dark ring of purple splotches around his neck and a bloodied lip. He was resting on one leg, the other’s trouser leg slashed open with an open wound visible. 

 

“You look like shit. Is that all of it? Or is there more? Dirk, what the hell happened?”

 

Dirk hobbled to the kettle and turned it on. “I really appreciated it when you were giving me my privacy, Todd.”

 

“I do respect your privacy,” Todd said, rounding the table to help Dirk get his jacket off. “I’m not asking you to tell me where you’re going, what you’re doing or why you need to do it. I just can’t keep pretending like nothing’s happening.”

 

“It’s my burden to bear,” Dirk muttered, stirring sugar into his tea with one hand and removing his shirt with the other.

 

“I’m not asking to bear your burden. I’d rather you dump a load of emotional baggage on me than tell me to mind my own damn business when you come home looking like someone -”

 

“Used me like a bouncy castle? I’m aware. Can you...can you just help me? We’ll talk later, I promise. I can barely stand right now,” Dirk interrupted sourly. His last layer removed, Todd stared with new disapproval at the suspiciously foot shaped bruises across Dirk’s torso. 

 

“Of course,” Todd said softly, and almost broke at the relief on his boyfriend’s face. 

 

\---

 

Dirk didn’t ask, merely held Todd’s hand and pulled him towards the bathroom for a shower. Stood faintly under the water while Todd carefully avoided the various injuries and scrubbed away dirt and blood. Sat tiredly watching Todd bandaging his leg after the water stopped. He didn’t say a word. Not until after Todd had all but carried him to the bed and he was breathing in Todd-smell. Aftershave, oil from his guitar strings, the overpriced american coffee he insisted on buying. 

 

Todd perched on the side of the bed. “Do we have anything to put on bruises? I’m pretty sure there’s some back ointment in the cupboard, I don’t know what it’ll do though.”

 

“I think I just need sleep for now. I’ll go to a pharmacist tomorrow...you do have those, right?” Dirk asked, and for a moment, Todd saw the person he knew, the one he’d fallen in love with. But then Dirk sighed again, a bone-tired sigh, and buried his head in the pillow.

 

“Sure, I’ll drive you in the morning,” Todd assured him, trying not to stare. “I know you want me to ignore all this.”

 

“They’ll heal, Todd. It’s not a big deal,” Dirk tried to insist. Todd slipped under the sheets and took Dirk’s hands in his own.

 

“Why is it so important that you keep me out of this? If it’s to do with your past, you could’ve just told me and I would have stayed out of it. But...nothing? You just suddenly start disappearing and come with back weak-ass excuses? At first, I thought…” And Todd looked away, ashamed.

 

Dirk frowned. “You thought...I was cheating? That’s...the most ridiculous conclusion you could possibly jump to.”

 

“Is it?” Todd asked bitterly. “We haven’t exactly been close lately. And you were clearly lying about where you were going.”

 

“I was...not cheating. I’m sorry I made you think that I was.”

 

“I realised something was seriously wrong when you started coming home with bruises and messed up clothes,” Todd narrated, watching guilt effuse Dirk’s face like butter spread across bread. “I thought you’d tell me in your own time. Or ask me to come with you. But you never did. Things started going to shit - I worried that eventually something really bad could happen, that’s why I waited up last night for you. And you came home like this.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Dirk murmured again, shuffling closer and pressing against Todd’s chest. “I’m sorry, Todd. It’s just better if you don’t know. I wanted you to stay happy. You can’t be happy if I drag you down with all my - problems - and -” Dirk gave up, breathing suddenly difficult.

 

“It’s okay,” Todd shushed him, wrapping an arm loosely around his waist. “Don’t tell me a thing. Except how you’re feeling. And how I can help. That’s all I want.”

 

Dirk breathed shakily. “I want to tell you. I just don’t want you to see me differently.”

 

“There’s nothing you could say -”

 

“Oh but there is,” Dirk insisted darkly.

 

Todd shrugged. “Whenever you’re ready. Never is a valid option too.”

 

Dirk sighed, and turned for a more comfy position. Todd was shorter than him, by quite a bit, but it was the mutual agreement that Dirk was more suited to the role of Little Spoon. Dirk was tall and gangly, where Todd was short and rounded. It meant Dirk’s feet hung over the edge, and Todd had to deal with a skinny octopus cutting off his circulation every morning when he wanted to get out of bed for a coffee with exactly 2 tubes of cinnamon flavouring and one of vanilla. 

 

“16 years ago, I was part of a secret government...thingy. Called Blackwing,” Dirk started, pulling Todd’s hand up to hold against his cheek for comfort.

 

“You don’t have to,” Todd whispered, and found the comfortable crook of Dirk’s neck, where he fit perfectly. 

 

“There was a man, the one who brought me in. Colonel Riggins,” Dirk added hollowly, and Todd felt a shiver through him as he said the name. “He oversaw everything, was in charge of the whole base. He wasn’t the tippy top of the ladder - he was ordered by someone else to pick me and others like me up. Experiment on us.”

 

“Holy shit…” Todd whispered, and instinctively tightened his grip protectively. 

 

Dirk continued determinedly. “I didn’t know about the others until I escaped. But we’d been pitted against each other the whole time, constantly being compared on our test results. It seemed like an unconnected series of randomly painful stimuli at the time, but once I knew about the others, I saw the connections, the pattern.  When I was doing better than the rest, I was given small treats - a fluffy blanket, or a carton of milk with dinner. When I was doing worse, my treatments were changed to be more...aggressive. They - they had this machine…” Dirk paused and swallowed. “They’d take my clothes off and put me on the metal frame of a bed without a mattress, with restraints on my - my arms, legs, head, neck and waist. The machine was connected to pipes on the framing and when they switched it on -  it - it was like being shocked, but also set on fire and suffocated?”

 

Todd listened intently, and waited patiently when Dirk didn’t continue for a long time. He wasn’t crying, but breathing deeply with steady hands.

 

“Riggins liked me,” Dirk finally said. “I thought it was normal, but the others I talked to only saw him once or twice in their whole stay. He visited me at least twice a week, at one point every day. Talked to me, convinced me to be more...compliant for the tests they wanted. He was the only one who could get me to do stuff, when I’d be stubborn about the injections or hide under the bed from the machine. He always knew what to say. Always. His ability to comfort me like I was his own child became a problem when orders came from on high to take my treatments to the next level. They wanted to push me, see if I could survive in the outside world as an asset rather than a prisoner - I was barely a teen at this point. Riggins knew I’d be overwhelmed, and probably terminated as a result of my failure. One of the doctors - Jenkins - for whatever reason, decided to go over Riggins’ head and get him reprimanded. I was going to be moved, put under someone else’s control. That night, some of the other prisoners broke free and mass-released all the cell doors in the facility. I just knew my door was open and the whole building was up and shouting. We split off in groups or individually into the forest surrounding the compound. I never wanted to look back.”

 

“You’ve been surviving alone all this time?” Todd asked, feeling sick. “16 years?”

 

“I never had much family to begin with. Blackwing had made it so I didn’t even exist. I don’t even remember what my name was before they designated me ‘Svlad’ and erased previous records,” he explained, and Todd wondered why he’d never questioned Dirk’s odd name. “I picked Dirk because it has a sort of Scottish-dagger feel y’know?”

 

“Scottish dagger?” Todd chuckled. “And what about ‘Gently’?”

 

“Well it’s sort of double-edged, you see. It makes me sound kind and approachable, but also makes me seem like a gentleman. Gent-ly, you get it? I suppose it’s really only obvious to a Brit.”

 

“It suits you.”

 

Todd gave Dirk’s hands a soft squeeze, glad to hear him able to joke around. 

 

“Can I ask something? About..y’know?” he asked, on high alert for signs of upset from Dirk, who just nodded. “You said you just knew your door was open. How do you know it was another prisoner who opened the doors?”

 

“Because that’s what I’ve been told by the others. That’s where I’ve been going. Tracking down others that were there, doctors I knew, soldiers who were guards. But there’s barely a paper trail to f - ah, Todd, not there.”

 

“I didn’t realise,” Todd apologised; he’d shuffled a little forward and jostled Dirk’s injured leg.

 

“Anywho, I’m meeting dead end after dead end and the rabbit hole just goes on and on and on. I’m starting to think anyone who was involved is dead, captured or still under the thumb of whoever’s controlling this whole thing.”

 

Todd felt the offer of help on his lips and quickly stifled it. The last thing Dirk needed was a passenger on the mystic boat ride through his traumatic past.

 

“You do whatever you need to do. Just check in, unload, y’know? I hate thinking about you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

 

Dirk sniffed. “I suppose it would be nice to know you were waiting for me at home.”

 

“Exactly,” Todd agreed, glad that the matter was settled.

 

“Possibly with a hot chocolate and some proper biscuits?” Dirk added, a hopeful lilt to his voice.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Todd chuckled. “Want a foot massage and a hot bath with that?”

 

“If you’re offering,” Dirk said excitedly, missing the sarcasm completely. “We could watch the movies with the Sandra Bollocks woman too!”

 

“You’re so weird, Dirk. In a good way.”

 

“I love you too.”


End file.
